Monday, January 2, 2012

Closed Doors

All right, I've been busy all day so I didn't have time to type up a review of Sherlock Holmes, so I'll do that when I can. Tonight, though, I want to talk about something.

I am sick of people walking out of my life and then waltzing back in like they still own the place. If you tell me you're out, then you're out. I lose my trust in you and every second you're back, I expect you to leave again. As much as I enjoy bantering with Bryar, I honestly wish he'd go away. I don't want to go back to the days when I don't know whether he's going to act like my best friend or make me feel like I'm a waste of space. I don't want to go back to wondering how much longer he'd act like he cared. There's a huge part of me that wants him to come back into my life completely, but the rest of me is shying away from him because I doubt either of us have changed enough for us to actually be friends long-term.

I'm not saying that Bryar waltzed back in. I think he just acknowledged the fact that I finally found a door to knock on. I feel like he opened that door and is now standing in the doorway, just staring at me with a "what do you want?" expression.

But he's done it before, and others have done it to me before, and someone just did it to my sister. So I needed to get these thoughts out.

I don't even know if this counts as a rant or what. Just... thoughts.

Song of the Day: I turned this from tabs on into a score and I feel very proud of myself.

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