Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Happy News (for once)

So I totally completely freaked out last night. I ended up getting two hours of sleep the night before. Ron came over, and we did a lot of cuddling on the couch while watching television. I kept feeling like I had to get away, and I couldn't figure out why. After we took him home (he doesn't have a car), I started thinking maybe we weren't right. Maybe the fight or flight response was my subconscious telling me to quit while I was ahead. And then I started thinking about RTT and the conversation we'd had. I started to think about how much I liked him. In the back of my mind I was still going "he was drunk he was drunk he was drunk," but I couldn't stop thinking about how he makes me feel. I actually talked to him that night. He didn't remember anything, and he said not to pay any attention to his drunken rants. I knew it the whole time, but it was still a blow to hear him say it. I still felt it was unfair to Ron to keep dating him when I had feelings for RTT (whoa, there, almost typed his real name). Mary agreed whole-heartedly. Jake got angry. I flipped out on him and then cried for hours before I eventually fell asleep. 

This morning I woke up and was still feeling pretty lousy. I went to the library like always, and part of me was hoping he wouldn't come. He did, but Joey came at the same time, and I couldn't tell who caused the sudden surge of happiness. And then chemistry class... I sat there, thinking about yesterday. (What else would I think about, chemistry? Pfft, no, the way that man teaches stresses me out. I'd rather doodle and contemplate life and then read the textbook when I get home.) And I came up with some theories. 

That flight response? Jason. Jason and I cuddled on that couch all the time. There have been several times since August when I couldn't move because I was so scared that something would happen because of Jason. I once spent ten minutes outside my bedroom door, afraid to open it. I couldn't remember closing it, and I was terrified I'd open it to find him sitting on my bed. I knew it was totally irrational, but I couldn't get over it. It would make sense that being in a similar situation to the one I was in before things got out of control would scare me. 

I started thinking back to the beginning of the relationships I've had. Every single one of them started with doubt that I could be fully committed while liking someone else as well. The answer has (almost) always been yes. So there's no reason to let the fact that I like RTT ruin something good. 

And it is good. It is so good. He walked me to half of my classes today, and he got along with the library crew, and he came over again today. I didn't get scared once. We had fun. He made me laugh, and he made me feel special. I really, really like this guy. I've been depressed for... oh, I don't even want to try to think back to the beginning of this episode. It's been a long time. But I'm out of it now. I am happy. Really, really happy. I've been nice to my sisters all day and everything (we'll see how long that lasts lol). I can't stop smiling and laughing and dancing in my seat. I feel... triumphant. 

Today's a good day :)

Song of the Day: "Live High" by Jason Mraz (stuck in my head)

Monday, January 30, 2012

Warning: Meltdown and Horrible Language Ahead

Yada yada *filling up space because I don't know how it comes up in the following box when I do a jump break in the very beginning of a post and I don't want people who don't care seeing this because honestly this is not me and not the way I usually write and I don't want it to come out that way*

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Breaking Another Promise

So, Mary and I are collaborating on something that needs to be done in less than twenty-five hours. I'll get back to you guys about my new boyfriend tomorrow, promise!

Saturday, January 28, 2012


Feeling super super sick. Killer migraine that is made worse by looking at screen. I'm no longer single. More info tomorrow, promise. As for now, I'm going to bed. Goodnight.

Song of the Day: "Lullaby" by Fall Out Boy

Friday, January 27, 2012

A Letter to My Big Sister

Dear Mary:

Sis, I don't exactly what's going on right now in either of our lives. Mine for reasons that I'll get to when your crisis is over. But I know that whatever it is, we'll both pull through it.

I don't know your reasons for the tweet you sent earlier. I wish I did, so I could have some more clarity. Obviously right now I'm just confused, and I don't understand. However, I do trust your judgement. If you think that this is the right choice for you right now, then I encourage you to do it. No matter what happens, I will be there to support you.

It seems that, as usual, we're both going through a rough patch. But you know what? We've done this before. We've been going through them since before we even knew the other existed. And we escaped from them all alive. We may have been a little scarred and a little scared, and we may have gotten wounds that will last us a long time, but we survived. And we will continue to survive. We will continue to survive while yelling battle cries and slaying all sorts of monsters. We can conquer the world together, you and I.

So keep your chin up, sis, and you'll be able to do it. I believe in you. And I love you.
And I hate that your letter to me was so much more powerful. But whatever. You're always better than me anyway :P

Love From,
Your Little Sister <3

Song of the Day: "Battle Cry" by Ludo

Thursday, January 26, 2012

So Yeah...

I'm officially declaring myself depressed again. There's no one single factor that triggered it, just a multitude.

There are some good things that have happened recently, though:

  • Really happy to have the dog. Just wish that I could enjoy him more.
  • Selby. Oh, God, Selby has been brightening my days by a thousand watts. We have extended advisory this week and she's just been hilarious and amazing and supportive and I love her. She made me choke on my Monster today though. As in turning colors and unable to breathe choke because I was just laughing so hard
  • I passed Joey in the hallway today and he opened his arms for a hug and I kind of dove at him. I think I may have surprised him a little bit, but he hugged me back hard and it felt great. 
  • I've been leaning on Ron a lot the past couple of days, mainly because of how good a listener he is. He knows about one of the bigger issues, and in fact was one of the ones talking me through it. He's been super sweet the past two days. 
  • Pop-tarts. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012



Hello, people of the blogosphere. I hope you are all doing well. Just thought I'd pop in and let you all know that LeeLee is excused from writing a blog post yesterday for three very important reasons.
1) Yesterday did not exist. It was a figment of your imagination.
2) Even though yesterday did not exist, certain important, significant and otherwise distracting events occurred not-yesterday that detained our beloved LeeLee from writing a blog post. Mainly, she got a puppy. And puppies poop. And poop has to be cleaned up. Just saying.
3) And boys. That's the third reason. Boys are the reason for all life's problems.

Alright, I'll be getting back to my blog now. LeeLee will resume usual, regularly scheduled postings shortly. ^-^

Monday, January 23, 2012

My Life- Ages 6-15

You're seven years old. Your mom's at work, and it's shower night. As soon as your stepfather announces it, you take off running to your room. You know you have ten minutes between now and when the water is manually shut off to grab pajamas, get to the bathroom, undress, and shower. You look around your room and pick up the few things on the floor, knowing that your stepfather will be checking, and if anything's left behind there will be hell to pay. It takes longer than usual, and in your panic you run out of the room and slam the door shut. It's not fun trying to rinse your hair without water. After your shower, you go into your bedroom to see your stepfather waiting on your bed. You look to your left and see the horror that awaits you. The door slamming caused the wall to rattle which caused your bookshelves to rattle which caused seventeen stuffed animals to fall off the shelves. You bid them a silent farewell and prepare for the spanking- one hit for every item on your floor. You don't sit comfortably for three days. 

You're nine years old. You sit on the floor of your sisters' room and hold the youngest in your lap. The two year old is hopping around the room. You ask her to take her shoes off and put them away, but she doesn't listen. 
"Play wiff me, Sissy," you barely understand her say through her pacifier. 
"I'm playing with Krista right now, I'll get to you in a little bit," you say as the baby gurgles up at you. 
"No!" the two year old says. "Play- wiff- me!" She accents each word with a hard kick to your back as you try, but fail, to scoot away. You curse the baby for preventing you from getting up after the first kick, and go tell your mom. 
A week later you're in the doctor's office. Those kicks are now nasty bruises and a kidney infection. All your stepfather has to say is, "You should have gotten out of the way."

You're twelve years old. You come home from school with a math test in your backpack. It was on trigonometric ratios, which you don't quite get yet. You did all the studying you could for the week before the test, and you believe it paid off. The pen at the top of the paper reads "81% B- Good job!" because your teacher knows how much you totally don't understand most of the material that was on the test. Neither of you are worried because you both know that with some more guided repetitions you'll have your "aha!" moment and you'll never forget how to do it. You show your mom and she, too, is proud. Proud enough to hang it on the fridge. You go about your chores, and then get to work on homework. 
Your stepfather comes home from work and goes into the office. On the way, he passes the refrigerator, and sees the test. You hear him call your name in what seems to be a calm tone as he takes the test off the fridge. He walks outside, and you follow. 
"You want to get into the Cambridge Program, right?" he says, referring to the accelerated program at one of the local high schools. You nod, somewhat knowing where he's going with this and silently praying that you're wrong. "Do you think this kind of grade is going to cut it?"
"It's a B," you say, trying to keep the defensiveness out of your tone, because you know he'll pounce on it. 
"B minus. That's not a B. You passed this by the skin of your teeth."
"Anything higher than an F is considered passing."
"Not by my standards, and not by Cambridge's. They don't want B minus students, they want A plus students. They're never going to accept you with grades like these. You'll end up going to Glasgow instead. You pull grades like these in their advanced programs and you're going to drop to the bottom of the barrel so fast you won't know what hit you. You'll be in classes with people who don't know two plus two is four. And then you'll never get into college. Is that what you want?"
You say no, but he doesn't listen. He continues to paint you a horrible future while you silently listen. He berates you for not coming to him for help while you wordless recall going to him and being called an idiot. Eventually he has you in tears of more frustration than sadness, and that's when he finally stops. 
"You know I'll still love you, even if you do become a homeless idiot, right?" he asks, as if that makes things better. You nod and follow him inside. 

You're fifteen years old. Your math teacher has pulled you out of class the day after a parent-teacher conference, and she asks the question that you've been waiting for an adult to ask for you the past nine years. "Is he abusing you?" Your eyes flood with tears as you nod yes. 

Song of the Day- "Mean" by Taylor Swift

Sunday, January 22, 2012

To An Old Friend

Well, what do you know. You-know-who is talking to me again. Such a mix of emotions from me. I desperately want to paint, but my paints have disappeared. Gimp is the next best thing, I guess. It's not the same, but I can get my thoughts out. It's funny how it's easier to properly express myself this way sometimes. Maybe it's because the arrangement and size and stuff of words can show what just words can't. 

Song of the Day- "Unwell" by Matchbox 20

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Writer's Block

But not a total creative block, thankfully. This is what I did instead of writing.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Yep. Freaking Out Now.

Ugh. I feel like crap. I have all day. Been mostly sleeping.

So you may remember that I went to the doctor's last week and he ordered an upper GI. Tonight I suddenly got the urge to look up what exactly happens during an upper GI. Upon searching, I found two different types of tests: an upper GI series and an upper GI endoscopy. They're both pretty much used for the same thing. The only difference is that an upper GI endoscopy is safer for small children (less radiation, I guess), is more thorough, and can actually do something about the problem instead of just identifying it. So I decided to read the descriptions of both procedures on WebMD.

An upper GI series is pretty much just x-rays. You have to drink barium (which, let me tell you, is freaking disgusting), but that's pretty much the worst of it. And at least you only have to take sips of it, and it'll add up to one cup of the stuff by the time you're done. I had to drink it for some other test a couple of summers ago, and it was worse then. I had to drink an entire quart of it, half the night before and half the morning of. I couldn't eat or drink anything or even brush my teeth for the twenty-four hours before the test, so I had the taste in my mouth for the longest time. The x-ray table tilts and changes positions, which actually sounds kind of cool. I mean, there's the risk of getting cancer from the radiation, but whatever.

Honestly, I would rather die than have an upper GI endoscopy. You can't eat or drink for the six to eight hours before the test, which is fine. Part of the reasoning, however, is not. I'm okay with the fact that they want to see the results more clearly. I'm not okay with the fact that they don't want you to eat because not eating will reduce- but not eliminate- your chances of vomiting. If you vomit during the test, there's a good chance whatever's in your stomach will end up in your lungs.
So you go into the lab or whatever, probably hungry and thirsty, as well as paranoid that you'll vomit, which doesn't help someone like me who often throws up because of anxiety. You'll probably have a blood test done to make sure that you don't have clotting issues or a low blood count or something, because there's a chance of internal bleeding during the test. Then you'll get an IV which gives you pain meds and a sedative. Okay. Any test that I need pain meds for, I am not okay with.
You'll lie on your side on the table with your head bent forward. A mouth guard will be put on your teeth to protect them from the tube that will be inserted into your mouth and then shoved down your throat, which, to my knowledge, is much softer. If my teeth are in danger from this thing, why am I swallowing it?
Once the start of the tube is in your esophagus, you can't swallow. You're supposed to drool all over the table. Because that's not humiliating.
You'll sit there with this tube inside of you, moving through your digestive system, for anywhere from thirty to forty-five minutes. You'll most likely be gagging, nauseous, and in pain. Even with the pain meds.
So yeah. Sounds like a fun time.

Even if it is a series that needs to get done, if a problem is found, they'll probably get a closer look at it with an endoscopy.
Someone kill me please.

I don't even have a song of the day today. Too busy trying not to have a panic attack to pick a song. Sorry to disappoint.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

A Random Musing

As per usual, when I got home from school today I was absolutely exhausted. I drank a Monster this morning to keep myself awake, so my brain was too busy for a nap. So I laid down for a couple of hours with my eyes closed and my face in the couch and my back to the world and just let my mind wander. My body got tricked into thinking I'd napped and my brain got some exercise.

I started thinking about how hard it is to communicate sometimes. For example, when I was in middle school, I was obsessed with the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. I told this to my best friend at the time, and she responded "Of course you do, it's about writing." I remember sitting there, trying to figure out how to explain to her how it meant more than that to me. I mean, first off, it's not about writing in the literal sense anyway. It's more like choosing your own path. I loved it, but at the time I totally couldn't put it into words.

There are several other times that I experience communication problems. I have a friend who learned English as a second language, and sometimes he doesn't understand me. It's not like I can translate my thoughts into Spanish, because I don't speak more than the basics, so we kind of come to an impasse. I also noticed I have a hard time putting into words my passion for various books, songs, and movies. Maybe we use the word "love" too much, because it doesn't seem to be enough sometimes anymore.

Song of the Day- "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Fault in Our Stars

No spoilers, of course.

Amazing book. Just overall amazing. I devoured it in one day. I kind of really despise John Green right now, though. That (plot twist thingy) wasn't supposed to happen. I laughed really hard at some parts, but I was crying so hard at page 260 that I had to stop and take a walk outside to calm down because I couldn't even read the words.

I'll edit this with a picture of my J-scribble tomorrow :D

Song of the Day- "Looking for Alaska" by Hank Green

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"God wants us to have this dog."

A couple of weeks ago, my mom did the math and decided that with her tax return, we could afford to get a puppy. There was a husky up at the pet store that we always go to (yay for supporting small businesses), and we immediately went up to put a hold on her. She had been adopted two hours before.

Last Thursday they got new dogs in. Mom and I went up that night and played with two puppies, one female, one male. They were both from the same litter of Elkhound/Australian Shepherd mixes. The main difference between the dogs was that the girl had a white stripe down her face that was really cute, and she was more excitable. There were also two others from that litter, but they were buff whereas the two we played with were tri-colored, and I've always loved tri-colored animals. We played with them again Monday night, but this time with my sisters as well. By then, one of the buff girls was gone. Mom decided that as soon as she got word that her tax return had been accepted, we'd put a dog on hold. We went in again today, this time with Zach. We played with both of the pups we'd been playing with, along with the remaining buff. We decided we definitely liked the girl tri-color the best, and then the boy, and then the buff. We also decided the female tri-color we'd name Princess Puddles, because she peed a lot when we played with her, and the male would be Sir Galahad because he'd be my protector at night, and also I'm obsessed with the Arthurian legends.

Tonight, right before we left to take the girls to Girl Scouts, my mom checked her email and found out her tax return was approved and she'd be getting the money on the twenty-fifth. All four of us did some shrieking. We dropped off the girls and went up to the pet store. When we got there, the buff was leaving with her new owner. We went back to the puppies at the same time someone was signing adoption papers for the female tri-color. My mom pleaded with them for a little bit to take the boy instead, but the woman explained that she had just lost her female dog to cancer and she wanted another girl. We backed off after that. We grabbed Jasmine, one of the employees, and got her to grab us hold papers. We put down a deposit, and he's pretty much ours <3 Right before Jasmine put up the "HOLD" sign, someone asked to see him. So we made it just in time for him.

On the way home, Mom was like "I don't even know why I checked my email earlier, I just felt like I had to. And we just missed getting Puddles, and we barely got Galahad. I feel like it was a sign from above. God wants us to have this dog."

Here's a picture of him and his adorableness: 

Song of the Day- "Big Yellow Taxi" by Counting Crows

Monday, January 16, 2012

Jason Mraz

I'm in love with him. Undeniably and irrevocably. Something about his voice makes every part of me melt. He's multi-lingual, and the languages he speaks are stuff like Czech and Yiddish (according to the San Diego Reader). He makes PSAs about saving the environment. I have a DVD of one of his concert and he took a TAXI to his own concert. His songs are all beautifully written and executed. I could drown in his voice, and I wouldn't be the slightest bit upset. He scats. He makes me want to dance. He's really laid back. He can sing opera, and it actually sounds good. And did I mention his voice?

My favorite songs by him-
A Beautiful Mess (I especially love the line "It's like picking up trash in dresses")
If it Kills Me
Sleeping to Dream
Details in the Fabric
If you listen closely at the end of that last one, you can hear him talking to one of the kids. It's awesome for me. It's kind of like this one Sqwonk song that I can't remember the name of on one of their albums where you can hear them both gasp for breath. It kind of gives it a more intimate feel, and I love it.

This is totally not what I sat down to write today. Look for a really deep post coming up probably tomorrow or the next day if I can keep my thoughts on track.

Song of the Day- Jason Mraz's breathing. That's not creepy, is it?

Bonus Post: Red vs. Blue

I love this series :D I'm rewatching my favorite episode because Jake decided to wake me up for no reason. I figured it'd be better to list my favorite quotes here rather than clutter up my Twitter, especially now that I have a random follower o.O

  • "Rest in piece, scumbag." 
  • "But who has naptime now? Naptime comes before pants time, not after. I think these people are just making up times." 
  • "Yes. That noise is called water. It is very wet, and very sloshy."
  • "I have to go to the bathroom now for some reason. Which is odd, because I already went when we were standing in the creek together."
  • "Running time!"
  • "What just happened here?" "I think all the sleeping people were trying to ki-" "That was rhetorical."
  • Best conversation ever: "Come over here and give me a boost." "Okay. You are a good person and people say nice things about you." "Not a morale boost, you moron, a physical one. I need to see what's in that window." "That window is very high. I don't think you are tall enough." "I know. I need you to help me look through it." "I don't think I am tall enough either. Also, my head is round. That window is square." "Come here, you." "Whoa!" "What do you see?" "I see a room." "And? What's in the room?" "There are some walls... and some ceilings... Wait! Just one ceiling." "What's making all that racket?" "Kill the red! Kill the red!  Kill the red!  Kill the red!  Kill the red!" "You are not going to like it."
  • "Tell my girlfriend that I love her." "My girlfriend now, bitch!"
  • "I have seen the top of the mountain, and you will worship me as if I were a god! *gets taken out* I regret nothing! I lived as few men dare to dream!"
  • "You took my kill!" "I didn't see your name on it!"
  • "Oh, you f*cking camping bitch!" "It's a legitimate strategy!"
  • "I bash you in the head with my rifle, and you die. Good teamwork, you f*cking noob.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Dear Wrist Brace

I miss you. Being away from you is causing me so much pain at the moment. It's nearly bringing me to tears. People tell me it's for the best, but right now all I want is to feel your embrace. 

You've been there supporting me through so much since we first met. You were there to help me swim at Clay's Fourth of July party. You were there to keep Jason from getting too rough. You sparked several conversations with people that I didn't really know how to talk to at the time. You were the butt of many jokes, but you took it in stride. You were always there for me when I needed you. Even when I didn't, you were there as a promise of your support. You've been a quiet but reassuring companion. You saw me through my best and my worst moments, my laughter and my tears. 

I know you'll still be there for me when I'm doing particularly difficult tasks, and that's comforting. I just really wish we could be together all the time, not just when I desperately need you. I guess it's better than having to quit you cold turkey, though. 

Just know that I miss you, and Tylenol can never replace you. 


Song of the Day- "What Makes You Beautiful" by One Direction

Lazy Day Survey :D

My favorite dA person and I do surveys a lot :D Here's today's, since I don't feel like actually coming up with a topic and everything.

1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?

2. Do you trust all of your friends?
If I didn't trust them, I wouldn't count them among my friends

3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Anything to get out of Delaware

4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
I believe in the rule of Chekov's gun. That's about it.

5. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
I can make, like, twenty dollars in change. Mostly pennies, too.

6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Hmm... probably Diana because she's the smartest.

7. Are you afraid of falling in love?

9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?

10. Whats your favorite scar?
Probably the one in the crook of my left arm. I got it from walking next to my friend Liz in fifth grade. We were so involved in our conversation about our fantasy world that I walked into a chain link fence. She said I'd always remember how it happened because it's shaped like an L

11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
Last time I saw my grandparents. Sometime between sixth and ninth grade.

12. What did the last text message you sent say?
"whatever you say"

13. What features do you find most attractive in the preferred sex?

14. Fill in the blank. I love:

15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Not failing all my midterms

16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
I don't know. Could I do like a five way call?

17. How many kids do you want to have?
One or two. Probably just going to share Mary's

18. Would you make a good parent?
Not at this point. I'm nowhere near responsible enough.

19. Where was your default picture taken?
My back deck

20. Whats your middle name?

21. Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
A stupid male *growls*

22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?

23. Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
Mary. Definitely.

24. What are you wearing right now?
Jo's sweatpants, Jake's hoodie, and my Loony Tunes shirt

25. Righty or Lefty?

26. Best place to eat?
Red Robin

27. Favorite jeans?
My Gloria Vanderbilt jeans I love them.

28. Favorite animal?

29. Favorite juice?
Orange juice.

30. Have you had the chicken pox?
Nope. So if I ever do get it, I'm dead D:

31. Have you had a sore throat?

32. Ever had a bar fight?

33. Who knows you the best?
Mary, Jake, or Mackay

34. Shoe size?
8 1/2

35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?

36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Yeah :/ Friscuit's been riled up lately

37. Been to Mexico?

38. Did you buy something today?

39. Did you get sick today?
I've been sick for a month

40. Do you miss someone today?
A couple of people.

41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
Kind of

42. When is the last time you had a massage?
Oh God. Back when Clay and I were dating.

43. Last person to lay in your bed

44. Last person to see you cry?
Danny, Ron, and Mackay

45. Who made you cry?

46. What was the last TV show you watched?
Dr. Phil. I love that man

47. What are your plans for the weekend?
Studying u.u

48. Who do you think will repost this?
Nobody since I stole it from the person who usually reposts it ^-^

49. Who was the last person you hung out with?
George and his pervy brother >.<

50. If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
Who WOULDN'T say yes to Luke Skywalker? ^-^

Song of the Day: "Still Alive"

Friday, January 13, 2012

Doctor's Today

Another quick bullets post. Too icky mentally and physically to write full coherent thoughts at the moment.
  • Woke up for school, walked to the bathroom to go pee, promptly vomited, stayed home
  • Went into the doctor's office to be squeezed in between other people's appointments 
    • Nurse had to use the kids' blood pressure cuff because the adult one could've wrapped around my arm five times xD
    • Doctor thinks that I may have sprained my wrist by hitting Clay and then broke it one of the times David tripped me/pushed me/sent me flying. 
      • Can only wear brace while doing things that require me to do painful things (playing clarinet, typing for long periods of time, camerawork for Telecom, being in the same room as David, etc.)
      • Ordered an x-ray and eight weeks of PT three times a week
    • Has no freaking clue why I'm sick 
      • Asked me SEVEN TIMES if there's any way I could be pregnant. Mom finally said, "Look. She originally hurt her wrist by hitting her boyfriend of five months for trying to kiss her. She's not pregnant."
      • All of the things that got tested for in the last round of bloodwork came back normal. In the low range of normal, but normal nonetheless
      • Ordered more blood tests. 
        • The last time there were four tests, and my mom was shocked they only took two vials. This time he ordered five tests
      • Also ordered an upper GI. 
    • Told me to get a guy friend or two to teach me how to defend myself without breaking my own bones
  • High school improv show tonight
    • Felt great to be back in George's car
    • Walked in and Mackay made us sit next to him
    • Suddenly got really really depressed
      • No clue why. Definitely wasn't related to Mackay, because he was being "include her" Mackay tonight again
    • Had trouble finding anything funny
      • Although there was one part that had me dying. They did Human Props (though they called it Human Scenery), and Ali (Alli? Aly? I dunno, Jake help me out here) had to be a suitcase. She laid on her side. They opened her, and put Chris in her. They both looked super embarrassed xD
    • Started feeling sick
    • Kinda aimlessly wandered around the auditorium after the show
      • Mackay said that he had the stylus he owed me in his backpack... at home. I said that was okay and asked him for a favor. He said sure. I asked for a hug. He pretended to think about it, but said yes. Not a particularly good hug, but... :D
      • I saw Adam and told him I got Pokemon Black. He said once I got a Pokemon over level fifty he'd battle me. Twelve levels to go for my highest. Might train only him for a while to get him up there xP
    • Stopped at Burger King on the way home and Corinne spotted me in the parking lot. She had a friend with her, and I was still with George and his brother. We talked for about five minutes. I asked what happened in band. Her friend asked what I played. I told her clarinet. Corinne responded, "Bass clarinet. This girl is boss." It made me feel great :D
I still feel blah, though.

Song of the Day- "Tonight's the Kind of Night" by Noah and the Whale

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Doggies xD

So I grew up with cats. I've always had cats. I will always have cats. I love cats. But I also have always loved dogs.

I've had two dogs in my lifetime so far. The first was when I was super little. His name was Shadow. I don't really remember him. He was a rescue dog, and he had been abused by men. It got to the point where he attacked any man who got near him, so we had to get rid of him. The second was last March. His name was Levi. He was the best dog ever until he got territorial and attacked me every time I tried to go in the living room, so we gave him back to his original owners.

My sisters and I have been begging for a puppy since... forever. My mom finally said yes! My sisters don't know yet. But once my mom gets her tax return (which could be as early as the seventeenth), we're getting a puppy! We haven't decided a breed, because we don't really care. We only have a few requirements.

  • It must be a big dog. "Anything I can dropkick over my back fence: NOT A DOG!" -Jeff Dunham
  • It must be cute
  • It must be playful. We played with three dogs Tuesday night. The first one was really playful. The second one was cuddly, but we were able to rile her up. The third one was kind of just like "whatever. I don't care." We liked the first one the best. We have eight cats to be cuddly with, we want something to play with!
Last night we went to Pet Kare and played with two Australian Shepherd/Elkhound mix. They were adorable. It was their first day in the store, so they were really timid. You're only allowed to have each dog for fifteen minutes at a time. The first one we took out was a girl. She loved me ^-^ I really hope she's still there when we have the money for her, because I want her so badly. She kind of hid in the corner, but I lured her out. She laid her head on my lap while I petted her, and her tail started wagging. Then she started licking my face. I HATE dogs licking my face (as well as people. Clay used to do that to piss me off. Freaking disgusting.), but for some reason with her it wasn't so bad. She started getting playful about a minute before Dakota came to take her back. When he opened the door and reached for her, she ran over and climbed back onto my lap. It was adorable. I want her so badly! But if we don't get her, we'll find another great dog. I'm sure about it.  

Song of the Day- "She's a Bitch, and I'm A Fool" by Sparks the Rescue. Go listen. I love these guys. They opened for Ludo. 

Romantic Desires

I'm being lazy today... There's a thread on AVEN asking about romantic desires that I responded to earlier. I'm copying and pasting here lol

I want to be hugged from behind. I want to cry and for him to say "Come here" and for me to hide my face in his collarbone and for him to rub my back until I calm down. I want him to randomly post a heart on my Facebook wall. I want to talk on the phone until I fall asleep. I want a good morning text every morning. I want him to come over and play board games with my family. I want piggy back rides down the street when my feet hurt. I want him to call me cute. I want him to randomly show up at my house when I'm in a depressive state with ice cream and a romantic comedy and drag me out of bed. I want him to pick me up at night just to go for a drive. I want to be able to talk to him about my past without feeling ashamed. I want him to understand that sometimes I just don't want to be touched and to understand it's not his fault, it's the fault of guys before him who didn't understand the word "no." I also want him to understand that sometimes I get overloaded on physical contact and just can't deal, and that he's not at fault for that, either. I want him to kiss me on the cheek and the forehead and the neck. I want to nuzzle noses. I want him to be by my side when I'm sick even when I tell him to go away. I want him to surprise me with little notes and gifts. I want him to help me with my homework and tell me to go to bed when it's too late for me to be awake. I want him to rub my neck when I'm stressed. I want him to hug me and lift me off my feet. I want him to get along with my friends, and I want to get along with his friends. I want him to watch chick flicks with me. I want to feel as comfortable in his house and with his family as I do in/with my own. I want to be able to just sit with him without talking or any distractions and still feel comfortable. I want him to know how to deal with my temper tantrums, and I want him to know how to bring me out of a funk (I know these things, and I'd be willing to tell him if he asked). I want him to come out and say I'm being unreasonable when I need to hear it, and I want him to love me anyway. I want to fight and bicker, but never so much that either of us actually gets hurt or mad. I want him to tease me and make offensive jokes but never cross the line. I want him to make me laugh, and I want him to be amused by my antics. I want him to teach me things. I want him to cook for me (I'm the type that could burn water. Even set grilled cheese on fire once). 

If I can find a guy who does all of this, I will be shocked, but hey, a girl can dream, right?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


Besides Jake, my three best guy friends are Mackay, Danny, and Ron. Not in that order, or any other order. They're pretty much equal. The three of them are the reason I love Telecom, because they're all in it with me. Some days I hate it, because some days they don't really pay much attention to me. But I'm okay with that, because that makes days like today and Monday so great. I already talked about Monday yesterday, so now I'll talk about today ^-^

There was a lot of the normal back and forth banter between the four of us. We moved topics so quickly it was sometimes hard to keep up. We talked about how slings are like bras for your arms and good friends are like bras for your soul, because they're supportive. We referenced ALL the memes! We talked about how Mackay is gay for chocolate and wants all of it inside of him. We talked about how horrible I am with guns and video games. We talked about Danny's girlfriend and his constant flirtation with/serenading of other girls. We talked about Clay's shortcomings. We talked about Monster. We talked about how repulsive Mackay is without his glasses. And we got into a serious discussion for the first time in the history of Telecom. I've had serious conversations with Danny, and with Mackay, and with Ron, but never all at once. 

Mackay put his glasses on my desk and then put his head down on his own. Danny left to go take his meds. Mackay somehow fell asleep even with Ron tormenting him (Mackay is SUPER ticklish). Danny came back and sat in his seat behind Mackay. He reached forward and grabbed Mackay's... I don't even know what I'm supposed to call them. If Mackay was a girl, I'd call them his breasts. Does that apply to guys? I don't knooooow. Anyways, Mackay sat up after a couple of seconds where he just looked confused. I made him put his glasses back on (I'm the only one who has a real problem with him not wearing his glasses, the others just play along). He commented how awkward it was to wake up like that, and that he wouldn't even wake up his girlfriend like that. I commented that I'd been woken up like that several times and it definitely wasn't pleasant. He asked who by, and I said Jason. 

The three of them started making little jokes about how creepy that was. Stuff like "Why, hello there *pretends to grab boobs*" because that's just the sense of humor Mackay and Danny have. I find it funny, and if I didn't I know they'd stop. Once they got it out of their system, Mackay said, "Please tell me that's the worst of what he did." I responded, "Do you want me to tell you that or do you want me to be honest?" Ron told me to be honest. So I was. I didn't go into huge detail, and I had to make them infer stuff sometimes because I wasn't comfortable coming out and saying it, but I told them pretty much everything Jason did to me. The only other one who's gotten that much detail is Jake. It felt good to actually say some of that stuff and watch their expressions. When I told Jake, it was through written word. I wrote everything down and he took it home with him and read it over the weekend. When Ron noticed me struggling to get words out, he reached over and started rubbing my arm. He told me that he was really sorry that it happened and that I deserved way better. Danny and Mackay started talking about how much they disliked Jason for what he did and what they wanted to do to him ;) 

It felt really really good to tell them. I count them among my best friends (along with Jake and Mary, of course, and Selby, and Zach and Moxi to a slightly lesser extent). At one point when I was trying to say what I count as the very worst of what he did, Mackay said "Just say it. It's okay. You know we won't judge." And it's true. They didn't. The reason I haven't told a lot of people is for two reasons. One, I don't want them to worry about me. That's more for people like my mom and Mary (although I'm willing to tell Mary if she really wants to know). The reason for most people is that I don't want them thinking I'm damaged. When I think about August, I feel damaged and dirty. But the three of them made it very clear they viewed him as the disgusting one, and me as the poor naive little victim. And then they made horribly awful jokes that almost offended me, but most of my hurt reactions were just playing along. They stopped when I started crying (let's not talk about how I became a beast at faking tears... let's just say I was a manipulative child at recess in elementary school and leave it at that. I'll be the first to admit I wasn't such a good person at nine years old :P). 

I left Telecom feeling very loved, and a bit better about August. Also, Ron gave me a cookie. They're all very good bras ;D

Song of the Day- "Moves Like Jagger" by Maroon 5

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Some Recent Accomplishments/Events

I honestly don't have the time or the attention span to write everything I want to right now, so I'm going to bullet stuff. 'Kay?


  • I survived check-offs in band without tears/panic attack, and otherwise did well
  • Had a counselling appointment which caused me to leave feeling good about my future
  • Finished the long worksheet in AP Bio while goofing off with Moxi, and then we escaped from class ten minutes early to make up the homework we'd both forgotten about
  • Finally got unlost in Chargestone Cave in Pokemon Black during Latin/Study Hall
  • ALL of my lunchtime friends except Zach had the same lunch, and I was way more involved in the conversations than usual
  • I was extremely social in Telecom and was able to balance conversations with both Ron and Diana (will be added to cast list tomorrow) which I hadn't successfully done yet
  • Felt knowledgeable while taping an interview for Telecom
  • Got a hug from Ron (I don't like him as more than a friend, and his hugs aren't particularly good. The "hug" part is what made it great, not specifically that it was from him :P)
  • Socialized with my band teacher and felt like I showed him I'm not this meek little person who wouldn't be a good section leader next year
  • I'd just like to point out that there's something about being around Diana that makes me feel like I can do way more than I usually feel like I can accomplish. That'll get a post of its own when I get around to it. 
  • Felt knowledgeable AGAIN while taping for Telecom, and this time with a person I don't know well but respect A LOT
  • Walked alllllll the way to the movie theater from school with Diana and Neil to do more taping for Telecom, and didn't feel stupid when we literally ran back
  • Walked to Rite Aid and back from my house by myself with no panic attacks
  • Found my mom's purse which she had looked all over for before she cancelled her credit cards and stuff
  • Changed a lightbulb
  • Got my homework done
  • Saved Vader from a very frustrated and angry Friscuit (Carli's in heat and Friscuit has balls but Carli only wants Panther)
  • Found out Hunger Games presale tickets go on sale on my birthday
  • Made plans for Friday night
  • Did so much research for the story I'm writing, and got some great ideas
  • Survived getting my blood drawn with minimal crying and I only kicked the lab tech once
  • Finally came out and said everything I needed to to a guy who hurt me/pissed me off. Two down, one to go.
  • Found out that when my mom gets her tax refund in less than a month, WE'RE GETTING A DOG!
  • Played with ADORABLE puppies at the pet store
  • Realized that every story I've done research for in the past, I've finished
  • Got just a little less selfish.
Overall today kinda sucked because I was in "Angry Child Mode" (which apparently is a real thing and not just something my friend used to describe my mood, but in actuality I was probably more in Impulsive Child Mode) for the most part, but it ended up being a pretty good day. 

Song of the Day: "Raise Your Glass" by P!nk

Monday, January 9, 2012

Today Was Awesome. That is all.

Oh crap I have an hour left to write a blog. I'm so tired, though. But today was an awesome day. I'll tell you more about it soon. I might do two blog posts tomorrow, because I know I'll have something awful to blog about tomorrow as well >.<

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Getting Away With Murder?

So I recently saw this article shared by a fellow AVENite. To summarize, about a year ago in Florida Jorge Saavedra, a freshman, finally got fed up with the junior bully, Dylan Nuno, who rode his bus. From other info, it sounds like Nuno gave a lot of people problems. The two were supposed to have a fight at one of the stops. Saavedra brought a pocket knife to school that day, and got off two stops before where the fight was supposed to happen. Nuno followed him and started to beat him up. Saavedra brought out the knife and stabbed him twelve times. The judge threw out the case last week, claiming that Saavedra was acting in accordance with Florida's Stand Your Ground law.

I googled the Stand Your Ground law, because I had never heard of it. It says that if you are in your home and someone breaks in, you are allowed to use any defensive force, including deadly, to protect yourself. In any other place, the same thing applies if you have "no duty to retreat." Correct me if I'm wrong, please, but I take this to mean a public place, or a third party's property. In such a place, you may “meet force with force, including deadly force if he or she reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another to prevent the commission of a forcible felony.”

From a legal standpoint, it does seem that Saavedra is off the hook. He was not in Nuno's home, so he had "no duty to retreat." Nuno struck first. Saavedra defended himself. That is allowed under the Stand Your Ground law. However, I'm not sure that there shouldn't be some sort of punishment here. I think Saavedra used excessive force. I mean, he stabbed the guy twelve times. Once or twice should have left him able to get away.

I don't think Saavedra should be be heavily punished, though. I have been heavily bullied myself, so I can identify with him. I know how scary it can be. I understand why he brought the knife that day. He even got off at a different stop in an attempt to avoid the fight. So obviously he's not the type of person who thinks violence is the answer. I can imagine myself doing what he did. I can see myself being attacked and having a weapon to defend myself and maybe going overboard. It could have been built up frustrations and pain that he was given the opportunity to let go of, so he did. It must have been empowering.

Of course, because of the way people are, there will be repercussions for killing him. He'll have to carry that around with him for the rest of his life unless he's a psycho/sociopath, which I don't think he is. And there have been plenty of people who have been acquitted for murder and society still shuns. Look at Casey Anthony, for example. So maybe the right thing happened with his case being thrown out. He doesn't keep it on his record forever and he doesn't serve jail time, but his name is known and associated with the killing, so he'll still have to face up to what he did.

Song of the Day: "A Better Place, A Better Time" by Streetlight Manifesto

A Better Place, A Better Time


Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Journals and How I Got My Pen Name

So when I was in middle school, I made up these characters that lived in my head. I never used them in a real story. They were more just there for me to entertain myself. Also, they may or may not have been somewhat of a coping mechanism. I was still being verbally abused by my stepfather at the time, and that's when the worst of the depression started. Somewhat ironically, the voices in my head kept me sane ^-^

My best friend in eighth grade was Zach. He was the first person I told about "the others." We actually started a couple of journals where we had conversations with the characters. It was a lot of fun. For the most part, it was a somewhat fictionalized journal for both of us. I used one of those pens where you press down different clicker things and different colored inks come out, and each character had a different color to differentiate.

The Characters-
Myria- She was pink. She usually went by Mya. She was smart and motherly. She often broke up fights and almost never lost her temper. She was also self-conscious and a total worry-wart. She often wrote down lyrics to whatever random song was stuck in my head.
Kyleah- She was purple. She went by either Leah or Lee, but usually Lee. She was childish and naive and innocent. She pouted a lot, and didn't really get most of the jokes that were passed along. She also got hyper a lot and would go off on little tangents. "Don't. Start. Lee." was heard a lot because of it. She was also super creative, and wrote a lot of stories.
John- He was green and printed. He was probably my least developed character. He was reassuring. That's about all I remember.
Jay Jay- He was also green and wrote in cursive. He was a comedian and was almost making everyone laugh. He could be really immature at times, though, and he said a lot of innuendos. Cole didn't like him talking to Lee :P
Cole- He was blue. He was the protector. He was always trying to keep the peace, but he could be condescending. A lot. He lost his temper quite a few times. He really was looking out for everyone's best interests, though, even if they resented him for it.
Jen- She was black. She was mean and vindictive. She broke down a couple of times, but for the most part she was just rude.
I usually wrote in yellow, and Zach wrote in pencil. You could tell who he was anyway because his handwriting's so different from mine.

Some highlights from the journals: 
I want to read.
You know you're going to burst out laughing at some point and you'll disturb the people that are still taking their tests. 
I'll hold it in I promise. 
Alright, I'm trusting you...

*ten minutes later*
See? I held it in!
What's a dildo?
When you're older!!

How did you run into a wall, Leah?
Well, I was carrying groceries for Mom and the wall just jumped out in front of me and it attacked me. 
Uh huh. Cole, can you tell me?
She was watching a "bunny" and waiting for it to move. Then she realized it was a statue. 

All right, people, we all know why we're so riled up today. Let's just... try to make the best out of it. 
There is blood coming out of my ass.
My butt's sticky.
I'm cramping.
I've got a headache.
I want to go back to bed. 
Okay. Screw it. 

Puts his tv before his kids. *scoffs*
And he wonders why he doesn't get girls. 
He's not trying to get girls!
*GASP* Our stepfather's gay?
You are so immature.

You know you've been reading too many mysteries when you're walking through a Christmas decoration store and the headline "Department store Santa hanged with tinsel" pops into your head.

Cow 1: I was artificially enseminated this morning.
Cow 2: I don't believe you
Cow 1: It's true! No bull!

"Ghra" is fun to say. Ga-ha-RA! logarITHmic

Overall, Lee was my favorite. She's the one I identified with the most, and still do to this day. So when I went to choose a pen name to publish a story under when I was in eighth grade, I took a variation of her name and added my mother's maiden name to it. And that's how I became LeeLee Evans. 

Song of the Day: "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer" from the musical CATS because it happens to be stuck in my head at the moment. 

Friday, January 6, 2012

My New Friend

So there's this guy that goes to my school named Tanmoy, and I strongly disliked him for the longest time. He's a jerk, and he likes to make fun of people. In Jake's words, "he weird and creepy." (I think there was supposed to be a "is" or something in there somewhere... <3) There aren't many people at school who like him.

However, now I have a class with him instead of just seeing him in the library and such. He sits behind me in history. I'm starting to see a different side of him, and I'm starting to see him as a friend.

First off, there's this girl he's been crushing on all year. He walks over to our table every day to ask advice and talk about her. He won't tell us who it is, but she's smart, and she's in his Spanish class, and she likes the color purple, and she dresses well. He gets super shy around her and wants to tell her that she's beautiful and smart and stuff but he gets too tongue-tied. He's constantly stressing about missed opportunities about her. I think it's pretty adorable.

Also, he can be really nice. He does make fun of me a lot, but if I stop making snide comments back he goes "Oh my God did I hurt your feelings?" and keeps asking me until I assure him several times that I just couldn't think of anything to say. And earlier in the year he got beat up in gym. I think that was when my opinion first started to change. When I originally heard about it, I figured his smart mouth had gotten him into trouble. What had actually happened was another kid was making fun of a girl in the REACH program (the classes for kids with mental handicaps), and he stood up for her and got pummeled for it. I overheard him telling someone who responded "Bet you wish you kept your mouth shut." Tanmoy responded, "No. You don't do that to people who can't fight back."

Today in history we were put into pairs to do this group thing and I got paired with him. At first he completely unloaded on me about how he got into an argument with a friend of his who for the most part has always been the one that's there for him. I said the usual sympathetic stuff when I don't really know how to help someone. Then he turned the conversation to me. He asked about my wrist, and how I got along with my family, and my relationship experiences, and whether I had done drugs/alcohol, etc. Somehow we got onto the topic of the only guy I've ever felt primary attraction to, and I told him pretty much everything except his name. And he didn't ask for the name. It was pretty nice to be able to talk about him without hearing "Is it someone I know? Does he go here? etc." for once. I was able to keep it anonymous. It was also pretty cool that he actually seemed to care about what I had to say. Not something I would have expected four months ago. And he told me that I had to be careful with guys because of how quiet I am. He said they're more likely to take advantage of me because I'm less likely to speak up for myself.

Overall, I think Tanmoy's a pretty cool guy. He's been through a lot of stuff he says he doesn't really want to talk about with me yet, and I think that's why he puts up the front he does. And I think part of it isn't exactly a front. Sometimes when he says the douchey stuff that he does, he just doesn't realize how it comes across until it's out of his mouth, and sometimes he doesn't realize it at all until someone like me points it out to him. To be his friend you kind of just have to let it roll off your back and know that he doesn't mean it the way it sounds.

I hope throughout the year I get to know him better, because he is a nice guy, no matter how he acts.

Song of the Day: "Teenagers" by My Chemical Romance. Another "I don't like the band except for this song" song.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

This Still Counts as a Post

I feel sick. Mentally as well as emotionally. Everything sucks today.

Song of the Day: "I Miss My Friend" by Darryl Worley. So. Much.

I promise I'll get back to real blog posts soon. If it weren't for my challenge of posting every day this month you wouldn't be getting these posts :P

Yes I Know my Post is Late

Suck it up.

This is going to be short because I just took some melatonin and I'm already feeling kinda fuzzy and my fingers aren't really paying attention to what I tell them to do and the backspace is feeling really used at the moment and it is sad.

Today was poopy. Honestly? I don't actually think it was too bad but this evening.... I don't even know. Maybe it was because I was rereading Go Ask Alice. I dunno. I just got all pathetic. All I want to do is sleep. But I couldn't because my mind was being all blah and it wouldn't stop complaining enough to fall asleep. So I took the melatonin like I haven't since... the incident, And now for some reason I'm listening to country music which I haven't really liked since I discovered Ludo and Fall Out Boy and etc. but tonight I feel like listening to it.

G'night all.

Song of the Day- "Cheater Cheater" by Joey and Rory

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

A New Hobby

Song of the Day: "Broken Hearts, Torn Up Letters, and the Story of a Lonely Girl" by LostProphets (the song I was transposing in the picture)

Monday, January 2, 2012

Closed Doors

All right, I've been busy all day so I didn't have time to type up a review of Sherlock Holmes, so I'll do that when I can. Tonight, though, I want to talk about something.

I am sick of people walking out of my life and then waltzing back in like they still own the place. If you tell me you're out, then you're out. I lose my trust in you and every second you're back, I expect you to leave again. As much as I enjoy bantering with Bryar, I honestly wish he'd go away. I don't want to go back to the days when I don't know whether he's going to act like my best friend or make me feel like I'm a waste of space. I don't want to go back to wondering how much longer he'd act like he cared. There's a huge part of me that wants him to come back into my life completely, but the rest of me is shying away from him because I doubt either of us have changed enough for us to actually be friends long-term.

I'm not saying that Bryar waltzed back in. I think he just acknowledged the fact that I finally found a door to knock on. I feel like he opened that door and is now standing in the doorway, just staring at me with a "what do you want?" expression.

But he's done it before, and others have done it to me before, and someone just did it to my sister. So I needed to get these thoughts out.

I don't even know if this counts as a rant or what. Just... thoughts.

Song of the Day: http://musescore.com/user/20232/scores/34680# I turned this from tabs on Songsterr.com into a score and I feel very proud of myself.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Just Some Miscellaneous Stuff

First off, I'm not continuing my last post. I just don't feel like writing about being dumped and being abused and my best friend telling me he hates me in a round-about cowardly way.

Second off, Baby Cat scared the shit out of me Saturday morning. I stayed up late watching crime shows and finally went to bed around three AM. I woke up around seven AM because of noises in my room. I have this box near my bed. It's rather small. It's filled with school supplies. And it was shaking. I was still mostly asleep, and all I could think was "Oh my God, I'm going to die before I get to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie." I grabbed the metal cup off of my headboard (honestly it's the heaviest object on there) and crept over to the box. I was beyond terrified, but I opened a flap, and out jumped Baby Cat.

Third off, I'm doing NaBloPoMo, although I'm not following the theme. Hopefully this'll go better than NaNoWriMo.

Fourth off, Bryar unblocked me on dA. I've been watching his manually for a while now, and I finally got to go through and favorite all the things I've been wanting to. He commented "Having fun with favorites?" and I said "Yessir. I haven't been able to favorite on your profile for a while, so I figured I might as well while I had the chance ^-^" and he responded ""while I had the chance"? You've been creeping haven't you?" and I said "Well, I don't know why I was unable to comment/favorite your stuff, so I figure maybe this is just a fluke and it may not last long. I'm not sure it's creeping... More of checking... Yeah, I've been creeping. It's what I do at two AM when I'm feeling nostalgic :P Also I like seeing pictures of Spencer." I'm doing my best to keep from getting my hopes up. Just because he unblocked me doesn't mean he wants to be my friend again.

Tomorrow I'll post a review of Sherlock Holmes ^-^

Song of the Day: "The Boat Song" by Ludo
I've started a list of all of these songs with links to listen to them on YouTube. They're up there ^^^