So today I went to the doctor about the whole sick thing and he was looking at my charts and noticed that I've been steadily losing weight for the past year. He ordered some blood tests and says that if nothing shows up he wants to put me on an anti-depressant. And I am scared.
First of all, needles? No. No! NO! I do not like them Sam-I-Am. I do not like the thought of an object entering my body and either putting chemicals in or taking vital fluids out. No! *squirms* My mom makes fun of me for being a bigger baby about needles than my sisters, but they freak me out!!! I'll probably end up bringing my iPod and blasting Jason Mraz or Lostprophets or something just to keep myself calm.
Second of all, I don't want to go on antidepressants. I mean, I admit they might be a good idea. Look at me. Dude, there's no denying I'm depressed. But the side effects... I dunno. They scare me. What if I'm one of the ones that have "increased suicidal thoughts or actions"? I don't want to be that girl again.
On another topic, I think Mackay's avoiding me. It could just be my imagination but he's always avoiding my Facebook messages and he's not really talking to me in person either. It sucks. It reminds me of what Bryar would do. Grr. I want him to be my friend again. I want to talk to him about tomorrow.
Song of the Day: "A Favor House Atlantic" by Coheed and Cambria ("the loss of friends you didn't have")
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