Wednesday, November 23, 2011

The Spider

A few nights ago I was home alone, making a pot pie like I do a lot. I took it out of the oven and walked away to do something else while it cooled off a little bit so it wouldn't stick when I dumped it out. When I came back, I noticed a spider hanging by its thread from the ceiling. Right above my pot pie.

I'm not normally afraid of spiders. In fact, I think they're pretty cool. However, there are some times when I'm stressed out when I revert back to little kid me and become afraid of everything. That night was one of those times.

I picked up my oven mitt and swung at it wildly, throwing the mitt to the side to be dealt with later. I saw the mitt connect with the spider, and saw the spider go flying. Thinking I'd conquered it, I went back to the pot pie. And found myself face to face with the evil thing.

This happened four or five times before I decided to try a new tactic. If I looked closely, I could see the thread it was hanging from. I took a deep breath, grabbed it, and flailed wildly. Once I was sure that I had freaked out enough to send the spider flying, I checked my pot pie to make sure it hadn't landed on it (and thought to myself that I probably should have backed up before getting rid of the spider).

My mom arrived home while I was sitting on the couch eating the pot pie. Pot pies always make me happier, and I was triumphant over my battle with the spider, so I was in a good mood. She turned on Big Bang Theory and I forgot about the spider.


Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the spider. On my face.

I screamed, smacked myself in the face, and stood up all at once. I rushed upstairs and jumped in the shower. I scrubbed all over. Then I got out, put on a clean pair of pajamas, and went downstairs to explain to my mom.

For all I know that spider's still in my house somewhere, waiting for the best moment to scare the crap out of me again. IT JUST WON'T DIE. 

Song of the Day: "Pavlove" by Fall Out Boy

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